He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
