Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
