these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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