It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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