I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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