420 ftw
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
