You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Randomize
