sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
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