He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
