Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
