I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
