I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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