I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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