Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
