just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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