oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Randomize
