areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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