I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
