My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
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