Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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