You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize