Joe is yelling at the trees again.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
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