I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
