last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
