She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
