What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
