Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Randomize