Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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