The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
