It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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