I should be sponsored by Trojan
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
