the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize