There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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