i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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