There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize