happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize