yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Randomize
