you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize