New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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