4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
