two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
