i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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