i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Randomize
