i think my tv is drunk
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
