Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize
