I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Randomize