Please, let me fuck your mom
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
