so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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