he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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