Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
