How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Randomize