be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize