In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
