Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
