no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
