Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
