In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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