so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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