You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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