either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Randomize