We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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